First, an addendum to the last post: Herr's cheesy poofs were the ones I really meant to sing praises about to the high heavens. Those are the ones I now consistently get with my Wawa "shorti" hoagie (which is another addiction all together to talk about). However, I seem to have finally ODed on the cheesy goodness and it's been a couple of days since I've had any.
I'm sort of dreading next week and not for the usual here-we-go-again-another-week-same-old-same-old reasons. My in-laws--or, to be specific, my mother-in-law and her husband--are coming up for a family wedding and staying with us for at least five days before the event and probably a couple after. (Note: we are not going to the wedding.)
I have very little like for my in-laws these days. I never really had any love, to be honest: that always seemed strange to me, anyway, people who went on and on about how they loved their in-laws, especially after knowing them for less than a year, say. In my family, love is a word reserved for your immediate, blood-related family. We may like a lot of people in our extended family and family by marriage, but it takes a while for like to turn into love and in some cases it never happens. It just the way we are; Lemel calls it our mafioso affection, which isn't too off the mark. So, back to the in-laws: I started out with neither liking nor disliking them when Lemel and I first got together and over the years it started going more over to the lukewarm side of like. Their whole attitude over Houdini's health or, more accurately, our reaction to it, really pushed me into dislike. When we were emotionally imploding last year and really needed someone to pull for us and tell us things were going to be okay (my parents tried really hard, from 6000 miles away, but they were dealing with demons of their own for a little while there), Lemel's family either blew us off or told us in so many words we were overly concerned and imagining things. In one or two cases, they said or did some things that I will carry a grudge about to my dying day. To add insult to injury, though, they would then turn around and profess great love for Houdini right around when it coincided with making a trip to our neck of the woods and needing a place to stay...because, you know, they "missed Houdini so much and wanted to spend as much time with him". Bullshit.
Gah, can you tell this is really bothering me? My mom tells me I should just let it go and go about next week making sure Houdini stays on track and schedule, and just shrug off any comments or advice anyone offers. Always assume it is well-meant and nod your head to non-committally acknowledge it and do your own thing, she tells me. Which is what I will try to so, except I know I will be popping a vein or two in the process.
From their perspective, I think I am slowly but surely gaining on the one daughter/sister-in-law who has been the talked about as being the pain in the ass one, the one who is distant and remote and not friendly. Quite frankly, I think she should be known as the smart one; she deals very little with these folk, and to hold the title of queen bitch isn't too high a price to pay. In fact, from what little I know of her, she probably relishes the title, and after last year's events, I understand why. She's probably not going to have to carry that burden by herself much longer.
I used to feel awful that Lemel genuinely likes my parents and sister a lot and yet I couldn't reciprocate that feeling towards his family. I can be and am polite, and I really do try hard to make their stays with us as pleasant as possible from a comfort perspective and, despite what it may sound like, I don't go around growling at them or with a perpetual frown on my face. I am my mother's daughter too, after all, and can act pleasant with the best of them even if I don't feel that way. That's about the extend of it, though and, as I said, it used to bother me a a lot that Lemel's feelings for my family went beyond skin deep (or maybe he is just an excellent actor, too!) Our relationship with each other's family, though, is like any other relationship: it can't be forced to be something it's not and while we might maintain a higher level of tolerance for behaviour we wouldn't in general, more out of respect for each other than each other's family, there's no demanding that we stubbornly forge bonds that just aren't meant to be.
That's about as much time as I want to spend thinking about that. As my mom said, my main focus is Houdini and it's time to go play.
