Maybe it was because we had such a heartbreaking first two years watching Houdini struggle and endure so much pain because of his feeding issues. Maybe it was because of my severe post partum depression that went untreated for the better part of those two years.
Or maybe it was because, at the end of the day, I never was much of one for the baby stage.
Whatever the reason, I never really wanted to freeze frame any of that time.
And now? Maybe it is because his feeding and weight challenges aren't so much things that we think of him as struggling with, anymore, as we do as things that are part of him that we are helping him live with more comfortably. Maybe it's because modern medicine did work a miracle in my case and I feel more like the person I was several years ago, with each passing day.
Or maybe it is because the toddler stage--or, at least, Houdini's toddler stage--is so much fucking fantastically fun, even when he is throwing a tantrum or yelling no or refusing to go to sleep because he wants to sing along to 'Twinkle. Twinkle, Little Star" one more time, for the hundreth time (those are actually terribly funny as well as fun, in a weird sado-masochistic way!).
Whatever the reason, I want to stay in every one of those moments forever and ever. It simply can't get any better than this.
